Sam Dawson, 54th President 1982/1983

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Memorial To Chief Dawson - July 2, 2001

The following article was written by Sandy City Chief of Police Sam Dawson in 1999

Teach your Children

Whenever something like this occurs the media always searches for the "why," I suppose because that is what everyone is wondering. I can't tell you the why, but I can tell some things that I have observed and feel have some bearing. 

You would be shocked to know how often we hear, "but other than this, my kid is a good kid." What is a good kid? Is a kid a good kid if he or she is a gang member but treats his mother kindly? Is a kid a good kid if he gets into trouble a lot, but it is only minor trouble? Is he or she a good kid if they attend church every Sunday but just use marijuana a little, once in a while, just for recreational purposes, but at least they aren't using the hard stuff? 

Where does society draw the line? Where do we as a people say, "That kid's conduct now moves he or she from the 'good kid' category to the criminal category." 

Children who bully, threaten, stalk, or hurt other people are criminals. They may be small time criminals but criminals nonetheless. The question now becomes "when are you as a parent going to make that kid face the music? When are you going to make him/her face the consequences of his/her conduct? 

There is a gang known as "Straight Edgers." The media has done stories on them and they live in our community. They do not believe in using drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or premarital sex - sounds like a good group of kids from this description, doesn't it. In fact a lot of parents support their membership in this group because they think Junior is out doing good things. However, when some of these kids spot other kids they do not believe share their views, they frequently take it upon themselves to render their form of justice. This usually amounts to a good beating, frequently with serious weapons involved. These "good kids" then become criminals and your police department becomes involved. 

Kids today have an overload of information. They have television, movies, video games, etc. etc. I am not going to blame any one of those things alone on the recent events, but I honestly believe they all had a part in them. Junk teenage movies with gratuitous violence do have an effect on kids. Most of them handle it, some are influenced by it. One thing is for sure, those kids were probably better shots because of the time they spent on video games honing their skills. They probably dealt better with the gore because they have been somewhat desensitized to it by the games and movies that are full of gore. 

In our society today, taking personal responsibility for our own actions is almost a foreign concept. People are always looking for someone to blame or sue. They are taught from birth that someone - their parents, their neighbors, the city, the county, someone owes them a living or at least something. 

Children of today spend too much time living in the present, trying to satisfy their every desire. When kids are not taught responsibility, they grow up dependent on society. Many parents do a great job, but all too often they reach out to their kids with material things, rather than setting an example for living a responsible life. 

If parents would forget about being their children's buddy and focus on setting boundaries, many of our problems, drugs and others would reduce. If we could get fathers to discipline kids that back-talk or smart mouth their mother, our societal problems would reduce. 

Raising children is not about being their friend. It is not about whether they think you are a cool mom or dad. It is about being their parent and all that goes along with that. It means setting limits. It means setting boundaries. It means saying "no." This is about being unpopular with your kids sometimes. 

This is an awesome responsibility that we all signed up for. 

We need to quietly teach children what is expected of them. When discipline is appropriate it should be used. One thing I can tell you from personally watching many, many family fights, when a parent decides to act like one of the children and begins to scream and yell at their child, all opportunity for teaching is lost. 

It is consequences that build character; teaching resiliency prepares one for life's ups and downs. Please don't protect kids from failing. Let them fail, it teaches character and resiliency that they are going to need to survive when they are on their own. If you step in and save them every time they fall or are about to fall, where will those skills they need come from when you are not there? 

Intervene early. Parents try to tell us they didn't know that their kid was running in a bad crowd. If that is true, I have to ask, "Why?" You should know who they hang out with, where they go, verify it so you feel good about what they are up to. 

Respect your child's privacy within limits. But never respect the privacy of their room. You are the parent and have every right, and indeed, the responsibility to know what is in that room. 

This is a short article on a huge subject, but the community should feel free to visit with any of the Community Officers in the different law enforcement agencies in this state who should be happy to work with those who are having problems.

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